Does Forgiveness Really Help You To Heal?

I unanimously agree with Paul Boese when he states that “forgiveness  does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” 

Most of us have been hurt by our favorite people, whether once in our lives or several times, as I have. Why do we continue to let them back in? It’s a question that may never have a clear answer. Perhaps it’s because we hold onto hope that things will change or because we fear losing the connection altogether. Despite the pain they have caused, our emotional attachments can be difficult to sever.

But forgiving them can be the first step to moving forward and not looking back. By forgiving them, we free ourselves from the burden of resentment and anger, allowing us to heal and grow. It’s a process that takes time and effort but ultimately leads to our own peace of mind.

Do you have any experience with this struggle? I do, and I accept it with every piece of my heart. I read somewhere that attachments come from childhood experiences and can be deeply ingrained in our subconscious minds. When someone gives us attention, care, and affection, we get attached to that person. It can be hard to let go, even when they continue to hurt us. And it’s going to end—either you do or they do. We can’t force people to be the same. Everyone changes, or, I should suppose, evolves and grows, so why don’t we let them go and focus on our own growth and happiness.

When I was in college, I became attached to my friends, and why not? I spent the majority of my 2.5 years with them, basing my life around them. But as we all graduated and went our separate ways, my friend moved to their home, which is located in a different state. They stopped answering my calls and messages. And I couldn’t understand why it was all happening, because I am unaware of the fact that this is reality and not everyone stays in touch after college. I thought friendships were supposed to last forever. I thought I found my person. But I was wrong. I realized that holding on too tightly was preventing me from moving forward and creating new relationships.

And here is COVID-19, and in that space of time, I find myself learning about more, what I like and dislike, my hobbies, and passions that drove me towards a new journey of self-discovery. It’s been a challenging but ultimately rewarding experience, helping me to grow and become more independent. I feel more confident in who I am and what I want out of life. I try to forgive them not to treat me like I suppose I deserve, but rather to focus on my own self-worth and happiness. This period of reflection has allowed me to prioritize my own needs and set boundaries in my relationships, leading to a greater sense of empowerment and fulfilment. It’s important to cherish the memories but also embrace new opportunities for growth and connection in order to continue evolving and finding true happiness.

In my experience , holding onto toxic attachments only brings pain and prevents personal growth. It’s important to recognize when a relationship is no longer serving us and have the courage to move on for our own well-being.

READ MORE| Emotional Intelligence